Meet the MacPhersonians! (N3D)

It was yesterday when Anli called me to come down to their group study today. Well I taught their class on Thursday. I like two class the most, E3B and N3D

There was 5 of them, 3 gals and 2 boys. We were at Sing Post’s KFC. They studied not much, and I taught them a thing or two about geog. I’m their geog teacher afterall, Mr Ong! So for the whole day, they kept calling me ‘lao shi’, oh-my-tian!

While seated down with them, I was surprised when suddenly I heard someone called my name out of nowhere. So loud that I was stunned! Then I saw a few gals donning Broadrick P.E. T-shirt; they’re the sec 2 guides! Mel and gang.

Yong, the hyperactive guy kept suggesting to play bowling, and we were kinda reluctant to that idea. I suggested movie! Booked tickets and straight off to Cathay Cineleisure!

Babylon A.D., it’s not really a nice movie, in terms of storyline. Fionnie, the gal in the photo above, reacted to the movie as if its a horror film! Stunned and heart-pounding at the different scenes. While most of them left the cinema ‘catching no ball’!

When to Food Republic @ Wisma Atria for their dinner, when Anli suggested that their Hokkien Mee is very nice. I wasn’t tempted at all, as I planned to have dinner with AL later in the evening.

Took bus with them soonafter. Actually these bunch of boys and girls are great. Fun to be with, and I hope that I can help them greatly to do well for their upcoming end-of-year exams.

Met AL at parkway. Was late though. Finally got to meet up with her, after days of failed attempts. Kinda missed her presence these days. But well, I guess she too wants to be a ‘counsellor’. Strolled down east coast with her and thought of having a nice chill-out, but that didn’t happened, with her using her cellphone 80% of the time from parkway’s underpass to marine parade’s underpass.

Somehow the relationship with her is so much like with Esther. I felt almost the same way for them, although there’s a slight different as their lifestyle and personalities differ way lot. But both reflects the same issue in me. I hope this time, it gets better.

I feel very very ‘buay song’ when people last minute change plan, worse is when it’s very last minute! Even if there’s good reasons/excuses. That’s the thing, there’s good reason for it, yet I still can’t help but feel very ‘buay kam wan’. Perhaps that’s because I felt cheated of my trust, or betrayed, or even disrespected. Like when I changed my plan for others and then suddenly the plan just drop, when I could had been doing something better during the planned time like exercising.

This happen to not just one person, not two but more than that! It’s like a part and parcel in a relationship. This thing really spoil my mood. This feeling about been cheated of my trust, betrayal and sort, kind of cause my coldness for others most of the time. I hate it when I’m cold towards others, but I can’t help it because I couldn’t feel the bond some of the time. That cause me to be unable to bring out my real self, who is confident, funny and able to keep smiling the whole day.

I just feel that when people make decision, they just aren’t sensitive and sensible enough to know that it can affect others, especially when it involves others. They didn’t realise what the consequences will be.

When such thing cause my mood to dampen, I’ll have a recurring thought that goes like this, ‘Don’t trust anybody. Don’t expect anything from anyone. No point placing trust on someone.’ But I don’t feel good having these feelings, and therefore I know that these are just negative thoughts and does not bear any great truth in it. No matter how much people let me down, I shouldn’t just lose faith in people! But one thing I know for sure that is correct and that is, ‘Never hold yourself back for someone.’ The reason is very simple – change is the only constant. What people tell you months ago and what people say now are two different things. And it’s all about when the change takes place. If you really believe what people say now and act according to it, and to find out later that they just change what they planned, it may be too late. Effort, time, energy and sort are been wasted.

But nevertheless, everyone are doing what is best for them. And I respect that! Even if what they do will somehow hurt, or gives you a loss, or a disadvantage. But I’m never going to let myself fit into other’s schedule whenever they want to. I’ll fit into my own schedule. Well, there can have give and take, compromise and all, but there’s gonna be a limit to that yea?

Keeping your word, is it too much to ask for? Well it’s all about Self-Love; I haven’t been loving myself yet. If I can love myself more, I will not let myself be affected by others. I won’t place any expectation on others, I won’t depend my happiness on others. I’ll love others just the way they are and not wanting them to change. But I believe the day will come…