“Hey young man, please, share with me your secrets to happiness! I see you working so happily. I’m so jealous and envy you. I am unhappy all the time, I feel like committing suicide. And when I see you, you’re so happy and cheerful! Please tell me your secrets, what can I do to be as happy as you…”

 Well upon hearing that I was pleasantly surprised and don’t know what to say. While listening to his problem, I was thinking in my mind, searching for my answers. To my realisation, the answer cannot be found through thinking. I should not be treated like a maths problem where you think logically for a solution. The answers for such questions lies in one’s heart, and its not something which one can teach others. One cannot give instructions to others regarding happiness.

“You ain’t allowing yourself to be happy. So its very simple, stop thinking negatively, and do what you like which makes you happy. Look, you got such a wonderful family, with a lovely wife and sons! Just let go and indulge in a happy mood!” That’s my reply for him.

Its so timely that having just recovered from suffering so much, and something like that came to me. He represents the person I was when I was suffering. So its just like after the suffering is over, I saw my own reflection of my depressed state.

It’s the first time ever that a stranger ever approached me like that while working. I guess my guides are giving me a pad on my shoulder on my progress, by sending him to me.

My job is to assist in preparing lab sessions! Unlike sec schools, poly lab sessions last 3hrs long. And for a whole cohort of 5-6 classes, two classes per session, it means a 9hr long day for the staffs.

I like my job which is relaxing and I get to see so many chio bu! The food science course houses many many SYTs (sweet young things)!

So what I did was basically stock up on DI water, prepare and autoclave nutrient broth agar/liquid, stock up on ethanols, gram staining liquids, as well as other chemicals needed.

Oh yes, I even helped the culinary science department by delivering beef and pork to the lab! Yes, pork! Babi! At first I asked my supervisor how come pork is included as part of the ingredients when there’s muslim students? She couldn’t answer me. She too was speechless by this controversial question. All she can say is that its for study purposes, that pork is an essential part of asian cooking. (wow!, visions of bak kut teh, bak kwa, pork satay, kong bak pau, san zham bak are popping in my head! and of course, Billy Bombers pork ribs!) While exploring this issue with her, I brought up the idea of ethanol, which is of common usage in labs. That might as well the muslims can’t even use ethanol to do their lab work, since its alcoholic.

It’s like a parasite hanging around your heart, leeching something out of you. Your heart feels heavier, difficulty breathing, and your temperature shoots up. Oh yes, you feel like opening your mouth as wide as possible, hoping to shout out this parasite. This pain isn’t sharp; there is no physical area where you can press to increase the pain. Rather, the pain spreads the entire body. Suddenly, your appetite may become gone and your stomach feels weird. Your legs and arms doesn’t feel like moving an inch. Your eyes starts to get restless, so as your mind. Countless thoughts rushed into your mind, as if overriding every neurontransmitter, inflicting it with pain-causing chemicals. The skull seems to be put onto a huge amount of stress to the verge of cracking. Soon your entire body is in the vibrational level of pain.

Have you ever heard of a greek mythology, somehow, I forgot who out of so many of Zeus’es enemy, had a mosquito in him. He’s in so much pain that he asked Thor to crack open his skull and out came that tiny insect of pain.

I had not experienced such intense pain for a long time, until today. It’s really “buay tahan” (singlish for Cannot Take It!) It causes tears to squeeze out from my small eyes.

I’d been arguing with reality. And that is sadistic actually, yet most of us takes that up as our second-nature.

Doctors don’t usually diagnose and treat themselves. That applies to counselling too. I need someone to talk to, probably a psychiatrist, or at least someone who knows what’s cognitive dissonance. Or someone who’s strong, resonating goldrush vibrations.

Plus point: this pain is forcing me out of my comfort zone, a place which I’m stuck in it for the past few months.

I will regain my strength.

Had been going out with Jia Jun, Li Rong and Yi Jie for quite some times these past few weeks. Bowling had became our “addiction”. But still, I prefer movie. We watched ”Drag me to hell” which I’d consider to be quite comical, through its horror elements is still very much in place. It’s director directs Spiderman too. JJ was enlisted two weeks ago into CD (photos of the camp is above). When I went into the camp with him, the corporal asked me, “are you enlisting?” I’m like, “No way?!” The camp is very new (launched in 2006), its, wow! So much different from Nee Soon Camp and Bedok Camp! (the only army camps I went into)

JJ’s getting quiet lately, probably due to reality shock. Lii rong’s my “dating partner” who’s always happy go lucky, and Yi Jie’s always getting on my nerves!

- Doc. James Wilson (House’s Bestie)

House M.D Season 4 Episode 3 : 97 seconds

He said that when House nearly killed himself by poking the live powerpoint with a knife, when House saw a patient doing the same thing in front of him. The patient, who had a fatal car accident previously told him of his previous Near-Death-Experience (NDE), and his heart had stopped for 97 seconds and that was “the best 97 seconds of my life ever.” That’s why the patient tried to stop his heart again to reexperience it. And the miserable House, being miserable, found that 97 seconds, tempting.

Misery not only loves company, but doesn’t care about living too.

I’m doing a project on nanotech and fuel cells, and submitting to NUS for science competition!

Sounds fun! I love to do my own experiments.

Time flies, Year 3 already.

Our lives are defined by the decision we made.

I need to change.

“The interest we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drives us apart.” President Obama and President Kennedy

“For we have learned from recent experience that when a financial system weakens in one country, prosperity is hurt everywhere. When a new flu infects one human being, all are at risk. When one nation pursues a nuclear weapon, the risk of nuclear attack rises for all nations. When violent extremists operate in one stretch of mountains, people are endangered across an ocean. And when innocents in Bosnia and Darfur are slaughtered, that is a stain on our collective conscience. That is what it means to share this world in the 21st century. That is the responsibility we have to one another as human beings.” – President Obama

Last Thursday was Broadrick 39th Speech Day. This’s the prize I got – Friends of Broadrick Award, for contribution towards the school’s Red Cross Youth unit after graduation. Junie (GG), Fann Howe (NCC) and Asvin (NCC) got this award too. In fact, my friend’s dad, being the ex-trainer of the school’s netball team got the award too. It’s my first time back after stepping down as the unit’s VI (Volunteer Instructor) in March.

I saw changes in my juniors – most for the better especially Chris, Wei Han and Guo Xin, who had grown to be more capable of command and control of the unit, being more serious and disciplined. I’m so proud of Wei Han, Guo Xin, Benedict and Zhi Hong for making it for NDP 2009! They are the 3rd Generation of Broadrick RCY cadets to ever made it to NDP. The firstwas made up by Alfian Sir and Kevin Sir sometime between 1997-1999. And then it’s me only back in NDP 2005! And now, its four cadets in NDP 2009! Kudos to Brd RCY! Anyway, my last trip to RC HQ was last year, around Sept. The Happy Meal’s Olympic Toy which I got for Nicky Sir is still with me!

Caught up with some friends as well. One of them is Esther. Hadn’t seen her in months and I do miss her. She look pretty much – the same!

Tomorrow’s the start of my SIP (student internship programme) and MP (major project).

A new start.

Having to suffer from gum infection over the weekend is intolerable – The dentist’s not working!

Having to suffer from toothache while at work is frustrating – I just feel like whacking the customers!

Toothache is painful! Wisdom Tooth SUCKS!

And yesterday it all came to and end when I finally decided to pull two of the troublesome ones out and now I’m left with two. Now my left side is less than my right side.

Now my mouth feels something’s amiss… And my exposed gum feels weird, while the stiches’ making the sensation worse.

Not only did I lose two teeth, I lose $450 of my own medisave. But most importantly, I loses… PAIN!

By the way – the surgery is not as scary as I thought so. My upper tooth was removed within 2min after the my whole mouth was successfully numbed. And the lower one which is more troublesome just took a while longer.

Alright alright. The display above’s on auction! The smaller one will start with S$450 and the bigger one will start with S$500. Make your bid!